doing it. by jee

trying to keep this little read, mostly unknown blog PG-13. I’m talking about marriages and “doing it”. the “deed”. we don’t talk about it much. def not enough at church. but it is something that needs to be examined and thought through. I have spoken to close married friends, my age, younger, and older about it. generally speaking, I think we don’t “do it” enough. at the outset i’ll say this - there are a lot of complicated heart/internal issues/hurts associated with “doing it” that may get in the way for the husband and/or wife. I want to be respectful about that.. but in this busy-busy, easily distractable culture, we just don’t “do it”…that much. jane and I always tell each other that “it” is THE GLUE of the marriage. without it our hearts aren’t as connected. I hear from so many brothers, “I’m too tired” or “we’re too busy” or “we sleep separately because I have to sleep with one child in their room” and even “we only do it to make a baby”. I worry about those brothers. men are hard-wired to “doing it” - it is a very primal and desperate need. in this age of at-your-fingertips pornography, LOTS of men are getting their fix outside of the marriage bed. that is sad and so not good. in the end, our  marriages are super weak, lacking the intimate glue that binds us together. essentially, our spouse has become a  teammate in running the house and taking care of the kids, a mere roommate that we say “hi” to each day. we’re not INTIMATE lovers. we must prioritize this love act. what’s funny is that - it was created by God for our PLEASURE. we talk about this like its a chore. c'mon! but going back to the pornography issue - men, we must stop! you can’t be fully addicted and honestly intimate with your bride at the same time. I’m speaking as one that struggled with this issue for many years. I pray Proverbs 5:18 over you this morning : “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” God can free you of the addiction - but YOU have to want that - for yourself , for your spouse, for your marriage, for your kids. 

I’ve spoken to many unmarried fellas and they tell me that they can’t wait to be married so that they can enjoy the deed with their princesses. often times, I’ve told them that it’s not what they envision it to be and that most married couples don’t really do the deed that much as the seasons pass. It’ll be so nice to tell the young'ns one day -  "yeah, you just wait boy! its gonna be SOOOOO GOOD!“